quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
going to the gym drunk. fuck whoever made basketball season and getting a spring break ready body in the same season.
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
The two guys from next door helped him do a backflip. The ended up throwing him halfway through a ceiling tile. Don't worry, we fixed it with duct tape.
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
I think I ripped my underwear last night doing drunk squats
I had a dream that my roommate walked in on me masturbating and I hissed "I'm not stopping this orgasm train for the likes of you" and just kept going
idk what happened last night but i just wokeup with nothing on but a necklace...what is this, the fucking titanic?
you were so high you asked for half double stack and half crispy chicken sandwich "welded together" in the wendy's drive through
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips
condom fairy costume came in handy...we were making out in my living room and he wanted it so i took a condom off the costume and we did it right there...with my tutu still on....
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