Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
Its about making memories worth repressing
If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
We should bet how many people are going to get alcohol poisoning next weekend and whoever wins gets a free Starbucks.
Putting a breathalyzer in a bar is a horrible idea. But I won
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
How do you clean puke off a stuffed bear?
Remember last NYE when after the 9th shot of tequila you went on full crazy mode and made out with the 50 y/o doorkeeper? and he called you the next day?
There was one thing about my NYC trip I forgot to tell you: I took a dump in Trump Tower
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
I'm too picky for internet dating and by picky I mean psycho.
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
Randomize
