he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
I'm starting to think I didn't bring enough liquor for this family Christmas.
It's 2 pm....
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
I woke up hugging a box of cheerios that had "wonder woman" written in sharpie on it. So much for a sober night.
Based on the conversation I'm going to assume you didn't close the deal.
It started going awry when I fell through a roof.
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
Well, I was arguably the most sober adult in the house by 1 in the afternoon, so I'd say Superbowl Shitshow was a success.
Randomize
