marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
don't worry dude, we didn't fuck on your bed out of respect for you
couldn't find a condom?
basically
Her best friend sent her a random hate text and the song they played at her father's funeral came on the radio. I just got cock blocked by the universe
Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
He found a way to charmingly ask me for a threesome and when I said no he made it sound like he was even happier. He's a fucking wizard
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
I just said "I love my cat" as a hobby.
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
Thanks for listening. You're the first guy I've ever worked with who I didn't want to fuck.
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
Too hungover to brush my teeth. took a swig of menthol schnapps instead. lazy or incredibly efficient?
Youre my hero
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
Randomize
