Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
Our relationship is like that beach boys song "help me Rhonda" and I'm fucking Rhonda. And Rhondas's the whore in case you've never heard it.
highlight from tonight: i hit on her and her mother.
hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
There are 9 condoms on my bed either i met the greatest girl ever last night or something horrible has happened.
The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
Gonna bang his former student. Clearly I am winning this breakup.
I'm going to make an art book filled with pics of me peeing in every bar bathroom I've ever been in. Dedicating it to you. You're welcome.
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
So "Abstinence August" was a bust. Maybe I'll try for "Sex-free September" or "Only if we're facebook official October"
He's trying to impress me with how much money he makes. How does he know me so well?
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
I'm eating ramen over the toilet. Fuck my life
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
I’ll call you later. There’s a jilted trophy wife looking for a revenge fuck at my door
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