I just drove by a church. On the sign out front was written 'crocodile cock'. On both sides.
you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
I tapped out to boredom. She bought me a full meal at Subway. Two tap beers and a pretty weak long island iced tea. I'm five dollars cheaper to fuck than she is.
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
Remember when I peed in the trash can in the ATM room last night?
Never thought I'd say this, but thank god for my blackouts.
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
That moment that random you banged behind the bar is going to be your son's third grade teacher... yup I'm there.
I told him I was on my period but he says "I'm a doctor, you think I can't handle blood?" And just went for it. Jackpot
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
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