Plan B is the new Plan A
Just saw a man jogging. For recreation. At 3am. Who's he training to be, batman?
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
Blew a line and having a jolly rancher... the day is looking up.
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
Please don't mistake my med student status for responsibility. I'm drinking tequila while studying vascular surgery techniques.
Drunk enough that you donated $50 to taco bell, because they serve a great purpose.
For real, I've been ditched by my boyfriend twice today alone. I fucking shaved for this guy.
Somewhere out there, Gloria Steinem just started to cry.
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
I spent the whole ride asking the cabbie if people ever have sex back there, and if he wanted me to make that number one higher.
I swear to god....if you can give yourself a brazilian you can take a fucking bullet
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
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