He was rambling about life and dignity and happiness. but all i kept thinking was PENIS. YOU HAVE A PENIS. I CAN SHOW YOU WHERE TO PUT THAT PENIS.
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
I just want a whole pitcher of margarita and a headdress from party city and sit around and look like a fucking indian princess.
Today is the day I die from a hangover. I love you, mom. Farewell.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
do you think the dildo I'm bringing through airport security is considered a weapon?
SOME BITCH AT THE HOSTEL STOLE MY NUT BUTTER THERE WILL BE BLOOD
It was dumb but not something to force me into sobriety
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
He set the tone in the back of his car by blasting Marvin Gaye's sexual healing before railing me
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
fyi: first time in five days i havent washed my birth control down with liquor. when are we going out tonight?
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