you didnt remember my name all night. you kept referring to me as "the blonde with the fat ass"
dude, boobs are like the porridge in goldylocks
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
I wish I had a frozen water bed.
best. idea. ever.
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
I am currently listening to someone take a shit. I hate the hole in the ceiling.
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
They turned motor-boating me into some kind of sick game
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
So I'm pretty sure I told every one at the party that "I'm going to fuck my pillow pets tonight?"
There's a baby in the strip club. I say again: THERE'S A BABY IN THE STRIP CLUB
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
Hey, what's the French word for when you meet your boyfriend's friend and you have that gut feeling that you smoked pot naked in a hot tub with him at a house party years ago?
Look, I need your help, not your judgment.
Randomize
