Tell your sister I'm no fool. Or at least romanticize the notion of the fool.
New all-time record for most uncomfortable I've ever been. A midget just asked me to restrap his fanny pack in the bathroom.
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
There is NOTHING better than watching a child being chased by an ostrich.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was too drunk to read the menu, let alone her body language.
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
Got high and weighed everything in the house. My head is 16.2 pounds. Is that ok?
My glasses are somewhere in your living room. Also, my underwear might be in your bathroom or on or around your porch. Sorry.
There's a stripper banging on the door demanding to see you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
I tried to lock you in the bathroom stall because you were too drunk. But you escaped from underneath, I gave up
We have so much sex to catch up on
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
Randomize