I just gave my whole company pinkeye. How's that for a summer intern's lasting impression? BOOYAHH
just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
you'll never guess what i found when i got home...
a cake, in the toilet
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
Is it rude if I ask the current tenets of our future apartment if I can come and blackout for a night? I want stupendously drunk me to get a feel for the place so he's comfortable when we move in.
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
If your wondering why there is a puddle on the floor is I may have decided to make a kiddie pool in your living room.
I guess I just stopped wanting to rip his balls out and started being okay with him being alive. that's a typical feeling for exes right?
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
Optimism doesn't exist before 2pm nor do any other emotions.
Randomize
