i just renamed my vag "the sorting hat"
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
We thought you were crowd-surfing until we realized it was the bouncers throwing you out
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
Dude I'm so clean right now. Like I feel insulted that I can pass a piss test.
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
What kind of terrible faithless God would allow vodka and one ply toilet paper to coexist?
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
Randomize
