just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
Well the good news is my "i'm an adult" dinner party went well, they all brought wine and complimented my cooking abilities. the bad news is i woke up with the leftovers in my bed/on my face
On a separate but also a very relevant note, can we practice drinking wine like real people?
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
Dude, did you know, your blood is contaminated with over 17 non-beer fluids?
I wish I'd realized he looked like Skrillex before I was already in the middle of fucking him...
You literally chaperoned my booty call.
I jerked off 12 hours ago exactly. I owe it to my penis to get laid.
Randomize
