Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
Her vagina was like a man-sized safe.
Bring your kids so they can distract our kids so we can drink beer in peace.
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
And she was like "I wanted you all for myself, to love you, and treat you like gold."... See this is why I shouldn't fuck Italian chicks...
You drunk dialed me and told me to jump out of my second story window so I could give you head. I almost considered it.
This is a pre-sorry for hitting on and then sleeping with you're ex
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
You installed a beer holder in the shower?! You're the best roommate ever!
... That's a shower caddy.
I believe this is a toe-mate-toe vs. toe-maut-toe situation.
If a treadmill opens up I'll run next to him and then fall off so he has to give me mouth to mouth
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
You threw him in the dryer?
He went in of his own accord. Mumbled something about experiencing the blossoming of popcorn.
Randomize