I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
in the event i get tipsy, my nipples are your responsibility
I have six drafts of messages to you that just say "blood" and I have no idea where they came from.
Found your dick twin last night
When you called me you were telling a hobo that you couldn't spare ten bucks bc that was your beer money. All your words were slurred.
Fuck him.
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
I'm gonna write a book. Almost Awesome: all the times I ALMOST got laid.
Hella random but just hear me out...A bar that is a petting zoo. Bitches love petting zoos.
It's my day off, I'm going to Target to check out Moms in yoga pants
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
Sometimes you wanna cuddle and sometimes you wanna get blown in the bathroom.
Fuck you. Fuck this party. I just wanted to be pretty with a cute little tiara and boys sucking my tits, now i have a hangman game drawn on my face and jello shots in my hair.
I wanted to give you a great birthday party. You know I did.
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
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