What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
she told me she had a boyfriend but the alcohol told me she didn't
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
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we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
there is vodka in my soul right now. The vapor is coming out my nose.
You broke the end off a wine bottle, ran outside and screamed "FOR NARNIA!!"
Just to be clear, the only reason you're allowed to scream "COCKTAIL SERVANT" at bartenders is because you have nice tits
He rolled up to the party in an ice cream truck. He was definitely my first priority
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
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