Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
Who is John, and why is his named carved into our toilet?
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
The police woke me up so they had no choice but to see my morning wood.
You know it's a good Halloween party when a guy wearing a light-up sombrero offers you blow.
FYI, grandma is already drunk and using a bed sheet as a table cloth.
in a last ditch attempt to make life awkward after i die today i want to be buried naked and have an open casket funeral.
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
I'll be thirty in eight months. I think my goal is too stop changing my pants in the parking lot at work by then.
Whelp, I woke up on the front lawn this morning. I have got to stop wearing these underwear. Every time I do, I end up puking in someone's greenery.
Crying into a glass of wine at 10 am isn't exactly how I planned this day to go
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
I don’t want to brag, but vows, morals and will power are no match for my blow job skills
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
Positive reviews on angieslist?
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