the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
i guess i finally out drove tiger woods this morning..
My piss changed color midstream. Think that means I have a 50/50 chance of passing the test?
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
noo you weren't that drunk. you just knocked the grill over and couldn't get the key in the door, so you climbed through the window. success.
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
The girl beside me at the laundromat is bitching a guy out on the phone for jizzing on her bedspread. She had to use a triple machine to wash it.
I did a hand stand against the glass wall at Ziggy's with no panties on and got 3 phone numbers. Thank God I shaved this morning...
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
every time someone would wish me happy birthday I would be like "thanks happy birthday to you too"
I want a shirt that says, "I'm sorry for the things I said when it was Taco Tuesday"
Bumble is fuckin insane here. I'm going to break a hip.
My saturday night consisted of sewing my Halloween costume and watching Blues Clues
You actually...sewed your costume?
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
Randomize
