Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
Packed at 6 am completely wasted. Damage assessment: 12 pairs of socks (no underwear), a flashlight, 3 shorts, shot glass, 8 sweaters, puff paint, one sneaker.
dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
Guess which guy you've blown just made me sandwich at subway?
I think "banned from Amtrak due to excessive projectile vomiting" would sum up the evening quite nicely.
Some dude gave me a questioning look as I came out of the women's toilet. I just responded 'blowjob' and he understood, then shook my hand.
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
im not trying to sound dramatic, but im covered in microwavable lasagna
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
I'm Michael Phelps, Olympic Champion.
Are you just smoking weed? Cause that's not actually a Michael Phelps costume
"I feel morally obligated to vote for him since he's my drug dealers dad"
Hmm, peanut butter and Xanax. Next Ben and Jerry's flavor.
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
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