U of I kids don't fist pump to Sweet Caroline. Get me the fuck out of here.
So apparently I ran down the hall to another party and started handing out uncooked spaghetti to strangers. You'd be surprised how many drunk people will eat raw noodles.
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
he slipped a picture of a kangaroo under my door that said "im sorry" on the back and passed out on my lawn.. who the fuck is this kid?
Do you realize half our text conversations are you asking me for tit pics and me saying no?
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
Oh my god the guy at DQ just gave me the number 69 and winked at me
Okay I'm ready to show you that my weiner still works
Too late, I'm convinced it's broken
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
You invited these random guys into your apartment that you met in the hallway...& then you started screaming at them to get out cause you didn't know who they were.
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
Randomize
