Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
First date: that requires underwear, huh?
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The guy you fucked with the lazy eye is here, im avoiding contact by texting you. But i just looked up and he recognizes me, theres no way he doesnt. I'd remember the girl who called me quasimodo all night too. Sober me feels so bad.
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
Hey girl, do you remember you made me brush your hair with a plastic fork on Saturday night?
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
Standing here wondering if its a good idea to cook pork chops in the toaster or not.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So his 25th anniversary post of love to his wife was almost verbatim what he said to me last week. Does that mean I win or lose?
So after my hot dog popped out of the bun and fell to the ground I tried to pick it back up and eat it. He had to kick it away from me to stop me from trying to pick it back up and eat it. I like him.
strip teases shouldnt end with an expensive car covered in salsa and mayonnaise yet here we are
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
You went into the bathroom, got in the tub with a pillow, yelled "this isn't as comfortable as it looks in the movies" then passed out
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