you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
And then I interrupted the father of the groom, to ask if she was "ballet or pole" in the middle of his story about his niece, the dancer.
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
On the bright side his mom approves of me. Though it's apparently because she sleeps with married men and has a soft spot for "fellow homewreckers"
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
Who gets call-your-ex-from-4-years-ago drunk on a Thursday??
I just realized that Margarita Wednesdays are so much better now when followed by No Work Thursdays.
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
I'm worried about us. We are almost 30 and we still drink jaeger bombs till we black out. Wait, no I'm not. I'm excited about us.
Randomize
