Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
i threw up in his kitchen sink and then used a measuring cup to drink water because i couldn't find a clean glass. i just threw up down the stairs. it's gonna be a long walk home.
I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
You know the party was great when the birthday girl gets arrested
Just bought a beer belt to complete the Captain America outfit. I will do my part as a hero of America to pass out beer to the good citizens of America.
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
Steve called. He needs me to pick him up. He also asked for a set of his clothes, he can't find them. He is such a strong motivation to stay sober.
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
are you just inviting me because you can't afford an actual stripper?
I had to sit there with his three fat aunts talking about a bunch of 50 Shades knockoff books.
I felt like a taxi, but my meter was running up minutes he would be eating me out that night.
Chipotle farts are not good for seducing boys.
Why can't you just come over, fuck me, then leave so i can get stoned and watch law and order?
DUDE!!!!! THERE IS A MIDGET HANDING OUT RICE KRISPIE TREATS!!!!!! WHERE ARE YOU WHEN THE COOL SHIT GOES DOWN???????
Randomize
