was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
no today was horrible, i woke up and somebody slit my car tire and left an apology letter in my wiper that said "sorry wrong house"
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
I just used a thesaurus to write a sext...
I'm currently giving my drug dealer relationship advice. He's a nice guy and all but I'm really just hoping I get some free weed
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
Just found a pair of vomit-soaked socks in my purse, three days after the party... Now I know why my wallet was wet.
Fursuit judi Dench just stared directly at me for 3 solid minutes telling me that cats arent dogs and i believe her because if i dont cat jason derulo might try to have sex with me
Somehow, walking in on your drunk mom in a diaper was the least traumatic thing I saw last night
I'm literally watching a webcam of the Vegas strip right now and it is making me sad.
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