Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
Tonight was like the Noah's Ark of alcohol. I had to have two of everything.
Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
apparently it's not kosher to shit in a litter box when there's a line for the bathroom
I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
I hijacked a bellboy cart and rolled into the party dancing on it
You walked in, sat down, looked at the waiter and said, "I'm only having deserts and liquor."
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
He was cheering for me from the end of the bar as I sloppily ate a Ruben sandwich. It made me feel really special.
I texted him back and I am so nervous I may vomit up all of the soup I just ate.
Randomize
