I'm twenty-five. I'm too old to be watching my friend throw up in Chipolte Parking lot.
My boss' voice literally gives me gas
i knew it was time to break up with him once he pulled out the Halo foreplay costumes
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
Just realized I left my heels in their microwave. Whoops.
Im only pretending to be his friend so I can sleep with his girlfriend.
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
I'm like, not good at living.
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
Randomize
