i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
Whoa Z and x make the same sound
I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
remind me not to fuck anymore half bald 20 year olds. because obviously there's attachment issues
THE MIME IS MIMING TO BUST A MOVE KARAOKE. ALL MIME-RELATED EVENTS DESERVE CAPS LOCK
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
From now on when a guy sends me a dick picture I'm going to send them a picture of some other dudes dick.
The smell came through my closed door. His farts are made of rendered tires, and apparently, ghosts.
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
wait did i hook up with someone in mcdonalds last night?
I have the rest of my life to settle down this is totally time for friends and pizza
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
Randomize
