Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man
Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
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well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
I found him down the block clinging to a light post laughing and crying because a house "looked like it had buck teeth"
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3 for 3 on getting girls who say "yolo" at the bar to have anal. Not the motto I live by, but it has changed my life.
Erry day erry day!
Only you would have to block the fucking governor of Tennessee from reading your tweets
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
I’m going to hump him until his teeth hurt and then I’m going to have my way with him
Randomize