I got to work, greeted my staff, then went into the bathroom to throw up. Who hired me to run a business???
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
She's the one that asked you what my favorite color was & handed you a piece of bacon
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We've reached the point in our fuck buddy relationship where we are playing words with friends. This is too intimate.
We definitely need to avoid these "I'm gonna get stabbed if I stay here any longer" partys
she's like a sexy human version of my cat. i can't catch her, and she keeps throwing up in the corners.
I found our waiter on grindr, gave him my number, and got him to send a dick pic. Still not getting laid but close enough?
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
The good thing about country bars is that the men generally look like men. The bad thing is the country music.
I wanted to give everyone gifts as they left the house... So when your wondering where most of the christmas ornaments are I'm really sorry.
I'll tell you all about it in person but let's just say the big dick fairy must really like me right now
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
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