ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
that's an acceptable place to lick
The only pictures he has from one of the biggest football weekends is an album titled "I miss my dog" filled with tons of pictures of his dog and him. This relationship must end.
Just saw a white stretch Hummer limo outside of CiCi's pizza. Way to live up to the stereotypes, Alabama.
I just puked into a plastic bag at a red light. Go me.
My freaking DENTIST just commented on my hickies. Through the novacaine I managed to mumble 'It was my birthday' and she smiled knowingly.
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
I really need to stop coming home drunk and lint rolling my rabbit.
I now own a bag of cigarettes and have no purse, awesome
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
It shouldn't be this hard to find someone who you haven't blown.
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
Randomize
