Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
I projectile vomited into my sink. Jealous?
Kind of. My puke would have just dribbled down my chin and missed the sink completely.
Ohh that happened after I started to cry.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
And we won't even have to pay the tab if we die AT the bar. So..win win.
Dear America, sometimes I miss your Everclear and its consequences.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
We haven't even eaten dinner yet and she's already been asked to "take it down a notch" by the groom's mom.
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
Welp, I just herniated a vocal cord during sex. How was your night?
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
Think i may just have managed the saddest high-five in history. Finished a sudoku and high-fived myself, then looked around for somebody to high five. there was noone. forever alone.
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