Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
i just opened a bottle of wine with my dads power tools
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Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
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Nearly got hit by a blue bell ice cream truck. Can I count on you to make plenty of puns like "her life was sweet, and so was her death" at my funeral if that was to happen?
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
mid-sex she goes "oh my god. you aren't even going to remember my name in the morning, are you?". And i was so wasted that i straight up told her "honestly, I don't even remember your name right now"
You said you made a new recipe, but it turned out you just cooked ramen with vodka instead of water.
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