the sex was like sticking it in a jar of mayonnaise
What part of "waking up in the crawl space of my house with a raccoon" sounds like a good night to you?
did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
i totally just wrapped her wedding gift in tin foil. These are the skills 2 bachelor's degrees have given me.
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
On a completely unrelated note I think I have carpal tunnel
Again, totally unrelated
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
My liver is screaming fuck you right now.
You are, as of last night, the self declared king of pooping. Long may you reign.
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
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