I puked while I was brushing my teeth this morning and had to get a new tbrush
Ew, did you brush them again?
Yeah but i puked on the new one and decided to give up...failure
Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
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You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
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I'll be there with bells on. And by "bells" I mean "jäger bombs". And by "on" I mean "being poured down my gullet".
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
Like I just asked Greg why I don't have a crown for my vagina. That drunk.
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
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