You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
I'm so high that a hulu ad convinced me to go on healthybaby.com
He got so drunk that he tried hitting on a girl using nothing but his Samuel L. Jackson soundboard application on his Iphone
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
As one final fuck you to the courthouse i'm paying the rest of this ticket with sacajawea coins.
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
after tonight, seriously nothing could taste better than toothpaste
Ugh he's so pretty though. He bit my face at the bar because I tried to steal his ID and I forgave him
He sent me a picture of a gas station condom and said "we probably shouldn't use this but if I was to impregnate someone on accident I'd want it to be you"
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
It's my birthday. I should be drinking mimosas in a top hat, not working.
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
Randomize
