you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
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Your tequila is gone. I suggest you bring more home before you go out for dinner. Money is taped to mailbox.
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
Just come get me. Somewhere there's hobo that's going to want his dumpster back, and I kinda want to be gone when he discovers the vomit.
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
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I'll get you through man, I'll be your fairy godmother with better prescription drugs
At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men
This power is too much for most humans to handle safely. It's like having the nuclear launch codes, except it's my penis.
YOU WAXED MY CAT YOU SICK FUCK
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
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