tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
Dude apparently i ran into the middle of a half marathon last night and some how won
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
Just called my mom. She definitely saw all those fb statuses so thanks for that.
Haha did she know what fisting meant?
Yeah. Which is upsetting in itself
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
Clusterfucked is a frowned upon word in work related emails
He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life.
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
He took me out, we slept together, and he sent me home this morning with fresh cantaloupe. #husbandstatus
Have you ever forgotten how to pee? I did last night. Standing in front of the urinal with dick in hand. WTF were we drinking???
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
Randomize
