Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
Just got discharged from the hospital after getting my finger stitched back together don't you dare say you had a worse night than me
OMFG "ASS" JUST STARTED PLAYING ON MY PHONE VIA PANDORA AS IM IN THE CAR WITH A CONGRESSMAN FUCKKKK
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
I just had to explain to a 5 year old why I had fuzzy handcuffs hidden in a macaroni box under my bed.
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
Good to know. If our sexting moves past early 1900s vernacular, I'll be sure to use that once or twice.
This bowl is so big, I just said out loud, "I'm going to die here" as I blew smoke out the cat door. Merry fucking Christmas.
Today is get drunk without showing anyone my penis day
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
Randomize
