so i saw this homeless guy this morning yelling at a pay phone like chewbacca.
That's what you get for being in filth-adelphia.
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
So after this weekend I think I'm gonna go down on one knee and propose to my boyfriend that he give me his liver.
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
I was so close to going to get my nipples pierced with my mom today
If you come home to me in lingerie and you start vacuuming...I need to reevaluate my priorities
Just heard a 15 minute program on the radio about how cases of gonorrhea in the throat and rectum are skyrocketing in the US. Almost crashed laughing so hard.
Sorry, who is this??
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
Randomize
