That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
my drunken desire to be gossip girl continues to ruin friendships for me
Who knew that being in a committed relationship is the same thing as forced celibacy? Did not sign up for this.
After 4 hours of foreplay he passed out and almost immediately peed in my bed. Naked. Like a fountain. Then tried to deny it in the morning by saying he just sweats a lot.
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
Thanks for last night. Sorry if i was obnoxious. I respect your morals and i wouldn't want you to lose your virginity to a drunk girl in your mom's prius.
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
Dude. I knoww what ur thinking. Yes, your hand hurts. It's because you fell through a window. If and when you wake up, go to the hospital.
My boss walked in on me puking in the urinal while taking a piss. Sunday funday is eroding my last shred of credibility at work.
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
im just laying in bed, eating, getting fat, enjoying eating and getting fat, thinking about how i will probably have to get a fat boyfriend.
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
My greatest accomplishment today was eating a box of Thai food the size of a toddler.
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
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