3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
when i'm drunk i think im just gonna point at him and yell adultery is a sinnnn. youre going to helllll
i think i had a heart attack, prayed, and jizzed my pants.all at once.
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
I have a kicked-out-of-multiple-bars level hangover today
His mom already thought we were lesbians BODY SHOTS WERE JUST NOT AN OPTION SORRY
She was just a sweet cute intern for us until I saw her naked in my bed the day after the Christmas party
Who knew there were so many rules and judgements about laying on a kitchen floor. I'm all like I'm resting. It just happens to be on a kitchen floor.
Update: I may or may not be in a cult
Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult
My 7 yo sister is trying to talk my mom into buying her a strawberry margarita. Happy Cinco de Mayo.
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
Randomize
