i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
Do you think my bosses would frown upon Jameson with breakfast on this holiest of days?
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
I need to stop fucking people before I get to know them
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
I wish you would just come have sex with me in ihop. I don't want to be here
He's like Medusa, you can't look directly into his eyes or you'll turn into a slut.
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
"I made out with someone too, but then he tried to fuck and I played dead"
I think he thought I was too drunk to handle his parrot
It's almost sad. It's like the Harambe of vagina stories really.
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
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