My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
there is way too much butter on my body for this to be okay
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
The to do list extremely baked self wrote for me last night says "1. Join gym 2. Passport? 3. Join a gym" And then just a drawing of a squid
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
at one point, i told him to buy you a pumpkin spice latte and uggs because you're a common white girl and that's how he should get you in bed
I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
Honestly, this social distancing bullshit is giving me a good excuse for drinking alone.
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