i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
I just found a thank you note I apparently wrote to my bed last night for letting me borrow the comforter.
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
The only thing that made me get out of bed this morning was knowing that tonight, I don't plan on remembering what happened today
Don't feel bad, we're professionals and we just housed burgers in burger king singing I believe I can fly
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
I really care about you, but im still gonna have to make you pay for dinner from the pain and suffering in my knees and vagina.
we gave you a glass of water and you just started yelling: TWO STRAWS, PATS AN ENGINEER HE'LL FIGURE IT OUT
Well yeah connect the two together, then you can lay down and drink.
Cheers to being single today. There's an entire box of franzia with my name on it.
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
I passed out in your bed last night...there maybe a snickers and twix bar under your pillow
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