She described it as "a squirrel being hit by a hurricane"
We just had the worst moment of our late twenties.... We just realized we are too old for the real world
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
I didn't scare your mother by showing up on the roof, did I?
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
Multiple bruises and a hell of a headache later, I have still to find out where the fuck I picked up the bottom half of a mannequin.
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
A man bought two 40's from me, then asked if I had duct tape. How do people over 50 know about Edward 40hands? It was very weird.
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
All I know is that I woke up with glitter all over me and blood on my shoes. It wasn't my blood.
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
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