so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
Just managed to stab myself in the ass with a fork. I feel that as my best friend, I'm obligated by friend code to inform you of that sort of thing.
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
When you're high, you dance like an injured velociraptor.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need to mount that unicorn and turn him into a full blown steed.
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
Yeah but who says we can't be shitfaced and tan at the same time?
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
You don't make any sense
TEQUILA
Shit day. Some kids decided to open my car at 3 AM while I was at work and the alarm went off. I went after them with a sword but they were minors so I didn't kill them.
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