My nipple is on Facebook.
she's about as cool as a sandpaper handjob.
just saw your exgirlfriend at the mall. her sister is pretty hot.
called that a week into the relationship. like driving off the lot with a 2010 and seeing the 2011 models coming in on the truck.
I have pictures of you taking tequila shots off the front of the police car when the cop wasn't looking.
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
Look, I've got a really big car. We just need to put ourselves in it and put some body parts in other body parts.
Oh. Why can't it be something easy, like a punch card for blowjobs?
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
Uh oh. Put down the vodka cancel the clowns and get rid of the donkey
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
Randomize
