He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
i was focused on more important things... like standing, and not spilling my beer
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
I found you laying in the kitchen with a bottle of vodka and a slice of bologna on your face. You said you were having a spa day.
Exactly. This is the bit where I learn a heartwarming lesson about not making my drinks half vodka
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
you threw me on the ground pryed my purse out of my hands screaming " I JUST WANNA HOLD IT A LITTLE BIT". later i found you putting on my lip gloss.
I'm so hung over that I'm pretty sure I can feel the earth's rotations when I close my eyes.
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
Broken leg sex is fun because I just get to lay there
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
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