I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
I feel like I have African malaria. I just remembered singing Teenage Dream in full to that biker couple at the bar.
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
It takes a special kind of man to fart REALLY loudly right before entering a woman and still get some. This has been a state of bootytown address.
My dad just accidentally taught me how to make fake IDs. I love my life.
My brother and I have had one conversation in the past like 3 weeks and it was about what it would be like as a sentient butt plug
I just told a guy I'm a cross of Kim K, Hilary Clinton and a dragon... He was still into it.
What could go wrong? i could have a mental breakdown with a bottle of champagne hand cuffed to a frat bro
Can you leave her a note saying "did you enjoy watching me fuck your roommate?"
I will.
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