plz talk dirty to me
So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
Just threw up on my desk at work. They are making me go home.
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
We are both federal employees and Obama gave us a four-day weekend to lie in bed. Do you know how many orgasms that will be? I knew there was a reason I voted for this guy.
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
He said that I started crying after sex because he was leaving to go back to Europe after the semester was over and I wouldn't see his dick anymore. This is why I need to stop hooking up with the exchange students.
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
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