I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
i effing cant stand that stupid soul the new way to roll hamster commercial. everyone im with is laughing and now hate them all.
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
I was scoping hash out of our weed jar with a spoon and I realized we need to buy actual utensils. This plastic shit is killing me I've broke 3 spoons
And then I learned that we are dating when I said it's out of line to bring fuck buddies home to meet the parents. And then I was single.
please come home... she's showing me videos of spanish parrots and is telling me about her dead cousin...
What's standard gratutity for someone having a miscarriage on stage at a strip club? It's important.
Also I'd like you to set a calendar reminder that goes off every day for you to take 2 minutes to think about what your life would be like without me.
Remind me again why a vodka watermelon can't be a thanksgiving dish
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
Hi I haven't talked to you since you bought legal marijuana-are you still stoned?
Some days you ride the struggle bus. Other days, it gets a flat, the AC breaks, and you run over a bunny.
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
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