dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
I cannot remember December 31 for the past 3 years. it might as well not even exist on my calendar anymore
Game over. He has a paternity test request on his table.
Bad news. I lost my teeth. Good news. I can still take a guy home sans teeth.
The bartender just told me he would have me face down in his pillow by the end of the night. I hate when you make me go to gay clubs.
God gave him joint rollers for hands
If you wanna be a real wingman, create some insecurity and comment on that pic of all the hot girls with "Id do every girl in this pic.. except the fat one".
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
I swear to god, my hangover cure is a green tea and a 15 minute twerkout. works every time
You're the reason why I want to be a better drunk
I still can't get over the fact that he thinks I have my life together... That has to be one of the nicest yet most sadly misled things anyone has ever said about me
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
Stop calling my penis "Fat Jesus"
Randomize
