She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
i feel like i was in a swimming pool of captain and coke and had to drink my way out
I hope no one at work will be able to read the "who wants body shots" on my chest. I forgot about it.
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
Okay good. And who the fuck put a condom on my foot. That shit hurt
I HAVE stop dating guys for their prescriptions, you have no idea how awkward family dinner was. Thank god for his xanax.
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
His rebound girl is half his size, looks like a leprechaun, is majoring in theater studies and has arms like Rosie O'donnell. Do I win?
the parade is in 5 days. put your big boy pants on and come to beer training. time to build your tolerance. i can't have you passing out in a bush with a cape on again this year.
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
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