I hope you never procreate. Philly is already the ugliest city in the country.
i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
my mom told me that she didn't count me in the census because im a waste of life anyway.
If I remember who won the superbowl tomorrow morning.. I think I'm just going to quit drinking. There really won't be a point anymore
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
Why am I always the sober one?
Cause you're the only one with any sort of self control. It's kinda your super power...
Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?
he told me he had a dream that he laid his head in my lap and silently gazed up at me. WHY AM I ALWAYS THE DUDE IN RELATIONSHIPS
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
just got back. in my inebriated state i broke an ugly lamp and was sent to the store (still drunk) to get a new one. just spent last half hour in isle 3 of dollar general surounded by more ugly lamps and trying not to throw up on each and every single one.
Randomize
