I'm too scared of my Fleshlight to even use it anyway.
Just had to open a tuna can with a spoon. Gave me a sense of hunting for my own food.
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
Might as well permanently tattoo lush somewhere on my body and show it to people when I decide to drink so they won't serve me.
i passed out twice in the shower, twice on the bathroom floor, once holding the toilet bowl and 8 times moving from the bathroom to my bed. Tequila sucks.
I got to her place and she was petting her cat and pounding vodka out of the bottle. She looked like Dr evil in yoga pants. She's nuttier than squirrell shit.
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
I feel like sleeping with foreign people is a long term investment. It's like a time share. Now when I go to London I have a place to stay.
"Are we not going to talk about how you got so drunk that you swallowed someone's pet gold fish, whole?"
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
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