90% of the problems in your life are directly related to your vagina
What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
You turned to me, asked if I was having fun yet, and then threw up onto my jeans. Thanks for the awesome first time partying experience
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
I have just figured that it takes exactly 2 and a half rums to clean the bathroom..
I know it's not technically the "Mile High Club" but we def need a name for the airport bathroom. Cuz that just happened.
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
Yeah I'm at the doctors getting a shotand don't know how to tell them I'm still probably drunk from last night
How do you tell a woman that you are seeing that the scars on your back are from her awesome-in-bed little sister?
He also deemed that the fact that I couldn't log into Netflix was not an emergency. He's wrong.
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
Randomize
