after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
It was as if you forgot how to speak normally. All of your words came out either backwards or in song form
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
I had to carry you down because your legs weren't moving anymore but you were carrying the weights you stole from that guys room... and that's where the bruises came from.
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
I know. I feel like I should be doing mature responsible adult things though. Like getting loans, working 60 hours every week and not eating burritos in bed, ya know?
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
I woke up with a meat pie in my hand and my mouth tasting like an ashtray. I'm a catch, really!
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
So...a chick sucked my crank...now her dog is licking my feet. I feel like a pharoh on vacation.
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