He lit his shirt on fire at the bar by putting a lit cigarette in the pocket to "save for later."
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
I hid my booze in my old Sesame Street lunch box. Big Bird might be disappointed, but I feel Oscar the Grouch would approve.
Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck.
I guess I just got drunk and ordered a mini fridge off the internet. At least now I know the 200$ that was missing from my checking account wasn't spent on lap dances only.
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
Apparently I walked to Denny's in the pouring rain without shoes just socks last night. Excellent.
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
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