Please don't call me names while I'm carrying your child.
im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
I am currently exfoliating my skin with the toilet. We've never been so close.
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
Why was there a 1000 piece puzzle covered in hot sauce being cooked in the microwave?
I love that you'd blow off your high school reunion to get shit faced in an aquarium with us
Um. We all know how I feel about sea life
I just took a service station dump so foul I had to buy gas out of guilt
Im part way to drunk.
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
Damn victory sex feels great
Randomize
