I fell asleep next to my cousin and woke up with my hand in her pants because i though it was lisa
let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
I thought of you while cleaning the forehead prints off my glass doors.
I woke up this morning and the search history on my phone says: "What is this castle in front of my house?"
It was incredible. For as long as I live, I will gladly drop whatever I'm doing and spend a night with her face between my legs ANY time she asks.
I am decidedly straight, but I'll write it into my wedding vows if I have to.
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
Then his buddy called and said "my car broke down, I need a ride. If I'm not home by midnight they'll extend my house arrest." And I knew it was time to leave.
I'll be wearing lingerie and holding a bottle of bourbon so pick up whatever food you think goes with that
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
What the fuck was I thinking eating an entire tub of potato salad on acid. My stomach today bro
Randomize
