Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
You could have chosen coming to fuck me over getting too hammered to drive. But you made your bed, and now you get to jack off alone in it.
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
Any day that has a special name thats capitalized means you need to need to call in sick and get day drunk. That's why they are there.
Went to a wedding reception last night, came home with a Christmas tree and the rest of the keg
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
Well if you don't want to be kicked out before last call don't I would suggest stop drinking whiskey and don't call the giant bouncer with the neck tattoo "princess"
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
it's like my eyeball is being humped by my eyelid
Randomize
